Dear Toddler- Mommy always wins!

Many of you I am sure understand the struggle to cook wholesome, healthy meals for your family while appeasing the appetites of Mom, Dad, & Tot!  Quinoa has become our replacement for rice or mashed potatoes because it is so much healthier for you. Tonight I made a delicious mexican quinoa and shrimp salad (or so I thought). Quinoa, Onion, Garlic, Shrimp, Cilantro, Corn & Black Beans came together in a beautiful symphony of flavors.

Unfortunately my toddler did not share my excitement for this kitchen endeavor, she took one look at the delicious meal I was so very proud of and said "Mommy I don't like it". I was stunned- "But you haven't even tasted it Reagan...." she replies again "Mommy it looks ucky" - why thank you toddler for your bonified food critic break down of my meal. My heart was a little crushed, I have never been a supporter of "Finish your plate or you can't leave the table" but I do believe you should expose your child to bold flavors & textures of food.... so in our house the rule is YOU HAVE TO TRY IT before you decide you don't like it.


Well, tonight's dinner played out a little something like this... dinner is served at 6:00, Reagan refuses to eat it. Mommy insists she take a bite before she gets up..... Reagan refuses. Reagan stalls the inevitable; she throws her doll  down then asks to please get up to get her (nope), she hides her sippy cup behind her and tells me it is lost and she needs to find it ( ha- good try), she fake cries for a bit, she real cries a bit and all the while I calmly remind her she just needs to take 1 bite of food and she can leave. "No WAY"  she responds. So, we sit & sit, &sit..... 6:59 she tries 1 bite of shrimp and looks at me shocked and says "Um- its delicious". Mommy wins! I would never cook something gross and make my family eat it. In fact Joe and I love watching foodie shows and always strive to produce tasty kitchen cuisine. Reagan ate 7 bites and all the shrimp in her bowl before she asked to get up again (PTL) Toddlers are a funny breed, each day is an adventure and I know some day I will look back on things like this and smile.

- "Patience you must have my young padawan" - Yoda

Where is The River when you need it?

So huge confession, post baby number two things have been a bit dicey. Not because my marriage is having issues, Joe is a rock our marriage is totally solid and I couldn't ask for a more loving man by my side. Not because I am overwhelmed- I realize to lots of people that having two children 2 and under seems like a dose of insanity; I will be the first to admit that there are moments of insanity but all the beautiful wonderful moments in between make the insanity totally bearable! The reason it's dicey is because I am having an identity crisis. This is not the type of crisis that is going to make me start signing my name with a symbol, it is just the tough realization that I have improperly defined myself for years and I don't know how to re-define myself now.

As far back as I can remember when it came to "the birds and the bees" I was the girl who got her curves way before the boys my age were ready for them and the ultra curvy blonde bombshell persona followed me from middle school- to high school and way into college and my adult years. I think I was the only 8 yr old who had to wear a bra and shave & by high school those curves were being noticed by college guys who I casually dated my sophomore, junior & senior years. (NO I do not think your 15yr old daughter should date a 20 yr old college man, this is my confession/diary don't read into it) In my early 20s I modeled a bit for cosmetics and lingerie companies before meeting my husband.(By no means was I Heidi Klum, but I now realize a huge part of my identity was in how I looked). The night Joe & I met he was so ga-ga over me his jaw literally dropped and a few minutes later while we were chatting he spilled his beer all over my pants because he was so nervous (God knows I LOVE that man). He then donned me with the fun flirty title of Texas Tart. I wore heels every day, mini skirts when I could, never left the house without make up and always looked my best. This is who I was- fashionista, fun, flirty, bubbly, curvy -Bailey

 

Fast forward and the "Texas Tart" decides to settle down with the ruggedly handsome Army man who stole her heart. They have a beautiful storybook Scottish Christmas wedding, they move to snow filled Kentucky and 3 months later they discover they are expecting a wonderful blessing later that year. 

Reagan entered the world a wee- bit before her due date because of pre-eclampsia complications. After 12 long months, just two weeks before our beautiful baby girl turned one I finally made it back to my pre-baby weight and found a lot of my confidence. Three months after that we decided it was time to start trying for baby number two, so ideally our babies would be about 2 years apart and great buddies. We all know in the ever changing Army world that having siblings "buddies" is sooo important because the only consistent thing in your life is your family! Again- we find out weeks later baby #2 is on the way!!! We were over joyed!

(Me & Reagan at like 5 weeks pregnant with Dawson) 

Dawson R. came into the world 2.5 weeks early because of pre-eclampsia complications and lets just say the body doesn't bounce back as fast after baby number two... in fact the only thing bouncing these days are the wobbly bits I have collected on my previously "tart-like" bod. I have been really lost since Dawson was born. Not just because the chasing a 2 yr old and keeping up with a newborn leaves days with a cloudy haze hovering over them, but because I don't know who I am anymore. I am obviously not the stiletto sporting, mini skirt maven from my past. I would like to think I am far from the flannel/husbands PT shirt wearing bed head mom at the PX. But who am I? It is amazing when all the things you were "proud of" in yourself are taken from you. I am proud of my children, I am so stinking proud of my husband, but there isn't much I can say for myself. I am hoping at least one of you Mom's out there can relate. 

So over the past few weeks this has been seeking the same answer, who am I supposed to be now? Who does God need me to be now? What kind of example should I be for my children? How do I balance what pregnancy has left me with (the battlefield of my body) and filling the needs of a husband who is so deserving of my affection. How do you look yourself in the mirror when all you want to do is cover all the mirrors with bed sheets? Then- God started to speak... "But he said to me ' My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christs power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake I will delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong"  2Cor 12:9-10. Then Pastor Jon gave an awesome sermon about laying down your cross at Jesus feet... and NOT picking it back up, but leaving it there.... which I completely fail at. So I turn to Proverbs 31-Which says a wife of noble character is worth more than rubies. Not once in those 21 verses does it how beautiful she is, it speaks only to the works of a wife and a mother who is actively serving her family and her Lord. In fact in verse 30 it says "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"!!!! Hello light bulb! 

So I get in the car and I am driving. Two crazy kiddos both crying for a nap in the backseat-  this is that moment, that instant that I want to come to the river! Have you ever had that kind of a moment? One where you know you are carrying so much... you know you have been wrong, you know your head is all kinds of messed up.You feel like you don't have a foot to stand on, your heart is broken, your entire identity is not only blown out of existence, but it wasn't real to begin with. "Oops" doesn't quite seem to cover it. "Help me" doesn't quite seem urgent enough. Tears aren't going to fix it.... you just need JESUS! Like the woman who reached out in the crowd and touched Jesus robe as He was walking past, believing in faith she would be healed..... I need JESUS. Then KLOVE plays this song by the Rhett Walker band and I just burst into tears

 I'm torn between myself and your truth
These cursed memories, forever seeping through
My thirst for myself left me wanting more
Till I found myself face down on your shore

You say
Come to the river
Oh and Lay yourself down
And let your heart be found
You say come to the river
Drink from the cup I pour
And thirst no more

My restless heart, led me astray
To my selfish pride, I became my own slave
But you placed a thirst in me, with no drink in sight
Cause I could not see, till I saw through your eyes

Hello God- it is me. I know we talk all the time. I know I am usually doing the talking and I don't listen like I should. I know that I obviously was using worldly ideals to define myself and that is why I now feel totally lost and unlovable! I am clawing my way to the river, my nails are dirty with mud. The grass stains on my knees won't stop me.... I need JESUS. 

Zephaniah 3:17 " The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing" 

Chia Seed Jam

I have always been a bit of a carb queen, but after having baby #2 I need to watch my carb intake or pick smarter carbs. This has sent me on a journey to learn about good sugars, bad sugars, protein sources and other fun super foody items like Cha-cha-cha-CHIA seeds!!! Yes, they are funny but they are also an amazing source of nutrients. The addition of Chia Seeds to my diet every day has totally eliminated gas issues in my 13 week old son; so for that reason alone I love them! So today I got creative in the kitchen and came up with an amazing use for Chia seeds! This jam is nice and light, full of protein, antioxidants, omega -3s, calcium, no high fructose corn syrup in this casa, and it is dye and preservative free!! You just can't beat old fashioned, home made! So here it goes- 

Ingredients: 

1-package fresh strawberries 

2Tbs Water 

2Tbs Agave Nectar (or other sweetener to taste)  

3Tbs Chia Seeds  

Start with one container of fresh strawberries from the grocery store. (they are in season right now and pretty cheap but I guess any berries would work) Wash berries well. Then, chop the berries into quarters and place in a medium saucepan. 

Add 2tbs of water & I used 2 tbs of agave nectar (for a lower calorie option you could use splenda or stevia instead) let this mix boil over medium heat for about ten minutes stirring occasionally. Once strawberries are nice and soft use an emulsion blender and puree the mix. Taste it and add more sweetener if desired. 

If you are happy with your puree, add in 3 tbs of Chia Seeds, remove from heat and stir well. (I get mine from Amazon for about 7.50 a bag)

Let the seeds sit in the mix for 15 minutes so they can gel and ta-da JAM! I used a mason jar for storage but tupperware or an old jelly jar works too! ENJOY!

Quinoa Taco Salad (My new favorite Meatless Monday Recipe! )

1 cup of quinoa (I used a mix of red and white but it doesn't make a difference just looks pretty)
2 1/4 cups of water
1 tbs olive oil
1 1/2 cup of corn (I used defrosted frozen corn, but canned would work too)
1 can of black beans
1/2 a bunch of chopped cilantro
2 green onions chopped
2 limes
1/2 tsp of paprika
1 tsp of cumin
1/2 tsp chile powder
1 tsp salt
Tortilla chips 

Put quinoa, water & oil into a medium pot. Bring to a boil , then cover and let simmer on low for about 15-20 minutes or until all the quinoa has spiraled out. Once it begins to boil add in your paprika, cumin, chile powder & salt. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking. When quinoa is done add in corn, beans, cilantro, green onion & juice from both limes. Stir together and let it cook another 3-4 minutes. Serve over tortilla chips and enjoy!