A Quarter of a Century Wise!

The last blog was a compliation of days of hard thinking and dealing with emotions big enough to weigh an elephant down. So, because I am who I am.... it's time for a pick me up! In honor of my 25th birthday last weekend I would like to share my 25 most favorite quotes!

*Quotables*

25. “So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go! 

24. "Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times. "
Martin Luther

23. "Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things"

Maria- The Sound of Music 

22."It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives." - unknown

21. Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names.

- John F. Kennedy

20.You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.- Winston Churchill

19. "All that is essential for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" Edmond Burke 

18. Each Day Is A Brand New Opportunity To Be Jesus To The World -- R. Falcon


17. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

-Willy Wonka

16. Some people,
No matter how old they get,
Never lose their beauty ?
They merely move it from their
Faces into their heart.

- Martin Buxbaum 

15. To know what people really think,
pay regard to what they do,
rather than what they say.

- Rene Descartes

14. Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.

- Paul Boese

13. Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only steals today of its strength.

- A. J. Crown

12. "God understands our prayers, even when we can't find the words to say them." -unknown 

11. "Wash your hands & say your prayers - because God and germs are EVERYWHERE" -unknown  

10. "Sometimes God doesn't let us see ahead, instead He gives us just enough light to see the step we are on. That way we have to trust in Him to guide us with each and every step." -Stormie OMartian



9. A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis



8. I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
C. S. Lewis



7. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5


6. Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26

5. Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1





4. "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
― Max Lucado




3. “God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus. ”
― Max Lucado



2. "You come before the judgment seat of God full of rebellion and mistakes. Because of his justice he cannot dismiss your sin, but because of his love he cannot dismiss you. So, in an act which stunned the heavens, he punished himself on the cross for your sins. God’s justice and love are equally honored. And you, God’s creation, are forgiven.”

1.“If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it, friend. He is crazy about you! ”
― Max Lucado 

This is a song, for the lonely if you hear me tonight; for the broken hearted, the battle scared I'll be by your side.

Many of you probably know that I was married before.

July 8th of 2006 as a bright eyed 19 year old bride, I began my journey as the wife of Sgt. Samuel B. Stevens. Without drudging up too much of my past, I will just say I spent the next several years of my life caught in the middle of a battle that I had no control over. Have you ever loved someone very dearly and you wanted so badly to try and show them the path they were taking was the wrong one; and despite your every effort and prayer, they never hear you? It was kind of like watching a man wandering in the desert searching for water dying of thirst, and I was standing at a well trying to get him to take a drink but he swore I was just a mirage. Although I was young in years, my heart was mature and my relationship with God was strong. But I was not yet wise. I thought I could pray my ex husband clean.... I thought if I fasted enough, was a good enough wife, or tried hard enough that he and I could make it through anything. Eventually the wisdom that comes with years of trying showed me that it takes two to make a marriage, and that one person can not carry the other for an extended amount of time. The bible teaches us to pick up our brother if he falls, to pray without ceasing and God will grant the desires of our hearts, to knock and the door shall be opened. There were tons of verses I clung to for hope; but in the end my ex husband chose his sin over my love. My only option was to walk away and save myself from an unfaithful, abusive, broken marriage.

Not long after my divorce, I met my husband Joe. At the time I was still bruised and bitter. I was angry that my years of prayers had fallen on what I thought were God's deaf ears. I was intensely burdened by the baggage I was carrying because I was too guarded to open up. Much like Ogre's and Onions.... layer by layer oe began to peal back the walls I had built up around myself. I learned pretty quickly that there were several lies I was fed in my previous relationship for so many years that I had begun to hold them as truths; both things about myself, and about men in general. It was actually a relief to be shown real truth and real love, and to be able to throw the lies aside! I was not crazy, I was not undesirable, and I was worth loving! Within the first two months of dating I realized Joe had been a better partner to me, than my ex was in all of our five years together. Then a light bulb went off in my head; God didn't make Sam into the man I was praying for, instead God was begging me to let go and give Sam up to Him..... because He had already raised up a man to love me and be that biblical partner and he was waiting right around the corner. I fully believe today that leaving my first marriage not only saved my life, but that eventually it will save my ex husbands life. I think that for God to complete his work in Sam, Sam has to be at rock bottom, which with me to lean on was never a possibility.

I think the problems of my first marriage are actually more common than people care to talk about. Maybe not the abuse part, but infidelity seems to be so rampant in today's world. Lets face it, pornography, linking up with ex's, and technology have made the cheating venues nearly exponential! Some partners may feel a calling to carry that cross with their spouses and stick things out. I think this requires first that the negative behavior completely cease, and second complete remorse and a very diligent and willing heart by both people to do whatever it takes to reach healing. In other cases, the heart is too broken, the spirit is too crushed, and the behavior doesn't stop. In these cases God gives us an out. Our maker who created our fragile and loving hearts knows that we have limits. The only one who's tolerance of us and love for us is totally limitless is God! To protect our hearts from the hurtful actions of others we have the choice to leave.

Psalm 37:1-13

 ¹ Do not fret because of those who are evil
   or be envious of those who do wrong;
² for like the grass they will soon wither,
   like green plants they will soon die away.
 ³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:
⁶ He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
   your vindication like the noonday sun.
 ⁷ Be still before the LORD
   and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
   when they carry out their wicked schemes.
 ⁸ Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
   do not fret—it leads only to evil.
⁹ For those who are evil will be destroyed,
   but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
 ¹⁰ A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
   though you look for them, they will not be found.
¹¹ But the meek will inherit the land
   and enjoy peace and prosperity.
 ¹² The wicked plot against the righteous
   and gnash their teeth at them;
¹³ but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
   for he knows their day is coming."

Recently my ex husband contacted me, which is part of what prompted this blog. The first day of our conversations he was completely apologetic for all of the horrible things that happened in our marriage. He seemed mature and more caring than I had ever thought he could be. I literally thought I would die before I heard him admit fault for the divorce. I should have known, it was too good to be true! Day two rolls around and my phone is flooded with texts before my Joe and I are even awake. He tries to explain to me that because his heart has changed, and because God has done in him the things I prayed for in our marriage that my leaving was a mistake. I can only describe what came next as hours of debate and tension as I tried to defend my choice to leave, and he tried to convince me my real place was with him. My poor sweet husband Joe had to watch me get all worked up wrestling this ghost from my past; I forgot how stubborn Sam is. My main line of defense was a statement I hold very close to my heart; since leaving my life as Mrs. Stevens God has brought nothing but beautiful fruit into my life.I found a wonderful job in El Paso where I worked before I remarried.

December of 2009 I married the love of my life, and that relationship that has blossomed into the marriage of my dreams; we are best friends, confidants, lovers, and a support system for each other.We have a beautiful daughter who lights up an entire room with her vibrant smile. The joy, love, peace, and faithfulness in our lives grows abundantly.... and that to me is the best confirmation of my choice.

I soon realized though that there was no convincing Sam otherwise and in his mind I turned my back on him and God when I left ,and I still belong with him and no one else. I respect his place to feel and think what he wants but I pointed out that his statement was very disrespectful of my marriage and his newest one and that I hope some day he understands that his choices left me no option.... leaving was the only way to save myself. Unfortunately things will probably always remain messy and unresolved between us.

I have really opened up in this blog and shared all this with you all because I believe that the best way for me to use my pain is for God's glory. Are you broken from your relationship? Have you been used and abused? Is pornography, or infidelity the secret you keep hidden under the rug of your marriage? Are you considering divorce? You are not alone! Dear one, my heart breaks for you and loves you all in the same breath. I know the pain you are feeling. The nights you can't sleep because your brain won't stop thinking about all the horrible things that surround you. The days when you feel plastic because you fake smile so much you have forgotten what REAL JOY feels like. You may be living with someone, but you have never felt more alone. Know that you aren't! Not only is there a heavenly Father who's love can heal ANY wound, and bridge any gap, but there is also me.... a humble servant of God who wants to reach out and hug you and tell you that it doesn't have to stay this way! Please let my story, my blog, my photos show you that there is hope. That you are worth loving, you are worth being honored and cherished, and good men DO exist! :-) I'm an open book, to those waiting to ask questions. I don't know what would have happened to me had I stayed in my previous marriage. I can say pretty confidently that I would be on medication still, and in therapy if not dead. No one deserves to live that way..... please, step into the light and let God help you find a better path.

Sometimes God has to break our legs, to get us on our knees.

Spooktacular Creepy Crawlies!

Who doesn't love the thrill and shriek season of Halloween? Busting out the old movie classics like Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown, Sleepy Hallow....etc. Bowls of candy, costumes, and jack-o-lanterns are everywhere! Apparently this season the "Trick or Treat" Memo was sent out to the local bug community around our casa. In the last 24 hours I have had some serious tricksters stopping by to cause a ruckus!

Ladies and Gentlemen, bugs of all ages..... allow me to introduce our first guest of the evening..... THE Fly Larva! Smaller than a grain of rice, but full of protein they are notorious for making your skin crawl!
These pesky little visitors stopped by our humble abode yesterday afternoon. Reagan and I were playing on the floor and I saw her reach for something and put it in her mouth. I scooted over to her, did the official mommy finger swoop to the mouth... and felt nothing! So I swoop again, and out pops this white dry grass blade looking thing.... and then.... it starts to MOVE. Boy this lil larva was on the move and at that second my jaw dropped and my heart sank into my belly. I grabbed a book near by, dropped it on the unsuspecting pest and whisked Reagan away to wash her mouth out. After that it was nap time so we went and laid down together and she fell asleep. I slipped her into her pack'n play in our bedroom, and then ran back to the living room to begin my hunt for the rest of these stupid maggots (because you know there is never just one!). I started in the living room where the first devious little pest was found. I only found one more. So I move my search to the kitchen, and there along the base boards I found a trail of dead larva! EWWWW! I checked our pantry for anything that may have accidentally been overlooked and gone bad, hoping to find the source of this infestation..... and nothing! I found a cluster of them near the dog food and water. I found another cluster under the garbage can, and near some boxes folded down for recycling. By this point I think my skin had grown legs and gone for a stroll. I busted out our All Floors Dyson, set it to tile and vacuumed the living room and kitchen twice. Then I switched to the hose and got in every nook and crany. I checked the baby monitor and the munchkin was still out, so I grabbed a mop and bucket, doubled my normal dose of Mr. Clean ... added scalding hot water and went to town on the floors. Even after all that I still found random stragglers in the kitchen well into the night. EWWW! Thankfully I think we got them all, because I have not seen a single one all day today. phew..... problem one solved!

Now..... entering stage left, I would like to welcome our second guest of the evening. The Wolf Spider.

Just when I thought our bug problem was over for the moment, this guy decides to join me in the bathroom this morning while I was doing my makeup! Many of you know I make all of Reagans hair bows, and I am known for putting rather large bows on her head.... well for comparison purposes .... lets just say this spider was bigger than quite a few of Reagans hair bows! In the nature of Halloween my blood thirsty self grabbed the closest large object, which happened to be a stainless steal dog bowl, and I whacked that spider into next Tuesday! DOUBLE GROSS! When I googled it, I learned that the wolf spider is kin to the camel spider, which explains its nasty large size, and crazy speed!!!

Needless to say, the pest control people are coming Saturday morning! I can only pray that between now and then all the other bugs get the memo that we do not have a 6 legged pest welcome mat! Intruders will be met with deadly force! :-)

Falling in LOVE with FALL!

Ok, this may be one of my all time favorite photos!! 

This past weekend we went up to Cloudcroft NM for a weekend get-a-way. Partly, because my Mom was showing her art in their Fall Arts Market. The other reason was we are on the heels of another test cycle, so Joe will be gone for a bit, and a family get-a-way won't happen again for a long time. Cloudcroft is this beautiful little time portal of a town, nestled in the Mountains of New Mexico. Its roughly 90minutes from our house, and the temperature this time of year is 30 degree's cooler than EP. We traveled up there almost exactly one year ago when I was pregnant with Reagan and took maternity pics, so it was a really neat experience to bring her back there with us! 

Oh how I love this photo! First because Joe has always had this smile that is ear to ear and totally melts my heart. I see alot of that same joyful spirit in Reagan! This picture is not as much a picture to me as it is a memory; a beautiful moment in time captured between a Daddy and his baby girl. And, of course.... Mommy made the fabulous bow! 

Oct. 3, 2011 Our Trio

 

October 8, 2010 Mommy +Daddy = Belly 

February 14 2009 Our Tradition Begins.... 

Oh how a year (or two) can change EVERYTHING! 

 When I look back over this past few years I feel insanely BLESSED!

God has been so faithful and so good to our family. For those of you who have known me for years you know that things have not always been so smooth in my life. I fully believe though, that meeting Joe was a Godsend, and the beautiful family we have created together is everything I always prayed for as a girl. I love waking up everyday and thinking "Thank you Jesus for today, for my faithful & loving husband, and for my smiley faced doll-baby daughter"! 

The most common question we get is "Is she always that smiley?" 

The answer is so simple.... in a word 98% of the time, YES! 

The other 2% of the time she looks like this... which means its time for her to recharge her little batteries and get some shut eye. Which is probably what I should be doing right now.... instead of sitting at the dim light of a computer listening to a baby and a husband snore through the baby monitor :) However, this is my only time to  blog and catch you all up on the adventures of our life. All in all the weekend was a success! We stayed at a cute little B&B called The Crofting. Sweet little Jewish couple runs it, clean cozy rooms, yummy food, and good weather! The leaves changing from summer to fall hues is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love the bright yellow, orange, and reds of the tree's. I love the crisp bite to the air, the crackle of a fire place, and the scent of hot apple cider! As far back as I can remember my family has retreated to Cloudcroft for vacations; actually even further than that.... because my Father often likes to embarrass me by reminding me I was conceived in The Lodge there (LOL). As a child we camped in the campgrounds there, and I know every nature trail like the back of my hand. Going back as an adult, and sharing this place with my family is probably one of the coolest things I have done in my adult life. Reagan may not remember our little fall get-a-way this year, but we have pictures to tell her about it when she is older! Thank you God for the power of Sony! 

Ladies & Gents.... we have treatment!!!!!!!!!

So, Monday I was able to see a hand specialist. Thank you Lord that Tri-care approved the referral. The hand specialist did some very intense Motion and Motor Skills testing with my left hand/wrist/arm, and the final diagnosis is Carpal Tunnel and Severe De Quervain's tendinitis ( an inflamation of the tendons under the thumb and in the inner wrist). Apart from having a diagnosis, I am thrilled that we now can start a treatment plan to kick this thing so I can have my arm back. 

Recently the motor skills issue has gotten so bad that I can't pick up the snacks Reagan drops on the floor with my left hand because the motion of pinching my index finger and thumb together to grab cheerios is very painful. I usually end up dropping 70% of them and having to pick them up all over..... its been a VERY humbling experience.Another frustrating thing has been loading and unloading the dishwasher. We have had several casualties, and I am guilty of three counts of bowl and cup slaughter. 

Whats the "Stitch" on treatment? Phase one of my treatment is a topical anti-inflammatory cream I have to rub on the affected tendons and joints twice a day. I massage it on, let it soak in for an hour and then thoroughly wash my hands. I also get to sport this giant brace that totally immobilizes my thumb 24-7, the only place I don't wear it is the shower, I liken it to an ugly looking cast. We will try this for 4 weeks and see if the inflammation goes down enough to restore regular use.If my wrist is not better in 4 weeks, then we move to phase two; steroid injections in the wrist and tendons to loosen and repair them. 3 rounds of shots a few weeks apart. They didn't want to jump into those right away because I am still nursing, but I see the shots happening in my very near future. Lastly, after the third round of shots, they will then schedule a surgery if the problem has not fixed itself. The surgery will include snipping the tendons around my thumb and in my inner wrist to free them from the swollen tissue pressing on the nerves.  


So far; two days in, and I don't see any change in the pain level. The brace is pretty inconvenient, and I have had a few shouting matches with it already. I am trying to be patient and just tell myself that the end justifies the means. I am thankful to have an attentive Doctor, with a PLAN! More updates to come :-)

The Young & The Wristless Part 2

Quick update on my wrist pain because I know there are a few other Mom's out there with similar issues. First, the pain is not gone and if anything its worse. I am breaking object and knocking things over on a regular basis because it seems my fine motor skills are pretty gone in the left hand. Just typing is hard so I do alot of things one handed.
Second, I went through our insurance provider, change my primary care physician, and got a second opinion. HALLELUJAH the new Dr. told me she I either have horrible carpal tunnel or really really bad tendinitis. She is pretty sure its carpal tunnel, and said it could even be both. But the happy part is (drum roll please.....) she referred me to an orthopedic hand specialist! They will conduct some nerve point tests to determine exactly where the pain is coming from and which parts of my wrist are affected. Then we will talk about treatment plans and pain management! Surgery being the most severe option, and steroid shots mixed with therapy on the lower end. Either way, I will have some sort of plan in place to get better and no more of this "ice it and take a tylenol" crap!
I am still breastfeeding which will limit some of my treatment options, but according to my new Dr. who is 6 months pregnant herself, it in no way means that I have to continue living with the pain and lack of motion I am dealing with right now. She couldn't believe I spent a good part of my pregnancy and these last 9 months just using a brace and tylenol. I was just thanking God that someone finally stopped to listen and help me!
I will update again after I see the specialist....... for now, I don't think I can type much more before my hand gives out on me for the night, so toodles ya'll!

Striving to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

Many of you know that just over a year ago my husband Joe got a strong call from the Lord to ministry, and more specifically to attend Seminary. Over the past year of our lives aside from moving to a new city, buying a home, welcoming our first child into the world, running the S-3 Shop at work, and now taking Command of his first Company; Joe has selflessly devoted the very wee hours of the morning and the very late owlish hours of the evenings to seminary work through ACU. Now in his third semester of classes, we are looking forward as we discern God's plan for us. Joe is currently working towards becoming a Deacon (the first step towards being ordained as a Priest). As Joe finds his niche in the church, and God's call on his life; I have found myself asking God "well where do I fit in all this?". "How do I find a balance between our child, my husband, and responsibilities at church?". "Will I be any good at this?". "How to I battle what the world says a 24 year old girl should be, and what God is calling me to be". 


The answer to most of these questions I found while doing my quiet time today. I set aside some "Mommy time" while Reagan was taking her morning nap to just dig into the bible. I re-read one of my favorite passages;


 Proverbs 31:10-31 


¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find? 
   She is worth far more than rubies. 
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her 
   and lacks nothing of value. 
¹² She brings him good, not harm, 
   all the days of her life. 
¹³ She selects wool and flax 
   and works with eager hands. 
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, 
   bringing her food from afar. 
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night; 
   she provides food for her family 
   and portions for her female servants. 
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; 
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; 
   her arms are strong for her tasks. 
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, 
   and her lamp does not go out at night. 
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff 
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor 
   and extends her hands to the needy. 
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household; 
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 
²² She makes coverings for her bed; 
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, 
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, 
   and supplies the merchants with sashes. 
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; 
   she can laugh at the days to come. 
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, 
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household 
   and does not eat the bread of idleness. 
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; 
   her husband also, and he praises her: 
²⁹ “Many women do noble things, 
   but you surpass them all.” 
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done, 
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Now, one thing I love about the old testament is they use all kinds of fun symbolism! But, symbolic or not this is a chunk of good scripture, and no matter how many times I revisit it there is always more to bite off and digest. In this round of reading I took away a few things... 

1. I need to trust that God wants Joe and I as a team to dive into this ministry call together. Because we are a unit and a team. 

2. Although its still a work in progress... God cares very little about my outward appearance and much more about the workings of my heart. 

3. Much like I have been whipping my body back into shape.... my prayer life needs a good whipping too. So, today I started a prayer journal with a weekly list of people & things that need prayer. This way I have a list to reference daily and no-one gets left out. 

4. I love the idea of your children calling you "Blessed". I mean television is filled with shows where the kids are yelling at their parents, and where children think they are much smarter than their parents. So this verse is very counter to our culture, but it makes me want to be an even better Mom. I have to remember that as a Mother I am a reflection of God to my children. 

5. Finally, as a woman of God, my responsibility is not just to my husband and my children. It is to the body of Christ as a whole. It is to be a mirror image of God and a light to those around me. 

This is going to take some time. Just like I can't wish myself back into my high school cheerleading uniform, I can't just wake up and be a living breathing Jesus reflection in the flesh. I am going to have to work at this. As I watch my husband studying away in the wee hours, I need to be pulling out my bible and praying for him, for our niche in God's plan, for our friends and family, and for the strangers who I have yet to make my friends. I am armed with a cheerful heart, a passion and a love for people, a compassion for those who have been through really hard heart breaking times, and an intense love for God! I don't know what is ahead but I am excited and ready. Sometimes in our lives I think God gives us just enough light to see the step we are on and no further. That way we have to trust Him as we take each step forward, tricky smart that God of ours is! :-) 

For this evening this is Mrs Proverbs 31 in training-signing off 

PS. if you have a prayer request you would like me to add to my daily journal let me know... its all confidential, just me you and God! I would be honored to pray for you. 

21 years young.....

   In honor of my baby sister who is turning 21 in about 3 hours, I wanted to recap some of my favorite memories of her growing up. (Yes the above photo is us in my mothers silk night gowns.... I believe this was about the time Mulan came out and we thought we were Geisha's)

   My sister and I are about as opposite in most ways as night and day. In many aspects she is the Yin to my Yang. That being said, my sister entered the world in quite a hurry, yet fashionably two weeks late, August the 7th 1990. It was just under 90 minutes from the time my mother's water broke to the minute my sisters new born cry rang out at the hospital. This left my poor mother completely without drugs to ease the pain of a 9 lbs 11oz baby girl. I was the very eager and excited "Big Sister" who had waited an entire 9 months at my mothers side wishing and dreaming of the day I would hold my baby sister in my arms, the hours we would spend playing and hugging, and the companionship of having a sibling. Little did I know, Devin had other plans!

    Devin did not like to be hugged and cuddled.In fact, she pretty much wanted very little to do with me.  At a very early age she learned the words "No" and "Go Away".. so much for that playmate.... LOL!  I have never been one to give up easily, and I was sure my persistence would pay off eventually, and Devin would magically open  her personal bubble to me. I'm still waiting Devin.... 

   But seriously; a table spoon of guarded nature, and heap of determination, and maybe even a cup or two of stubbornness is part of why Devin is such a successful driven woman today. She conquers the largest of tasks, with not only an amazing attitude, but she juggles good grades at the same time. Since she started at Baylor she has never taken less than 18 hours a semester. She is a very active THETA, she was social chair, and is now VP. She works two jobs, and still finds time to stay sane. She will graduate in May with a Degree in Public Relations and Marketing and a Minor in Journalism. I couldn't be more proud.... so Devin, I forgive you for  not letting me dress you up and hug on you in public. 

Soon, I had given up on my classical romantic ideals of how sisterhood should be, skipping through flowery fields holding hands, playing hopscotch and sharing ice cream, braiding each others hair.... etc. Because at this point Devin's determination took a whole new turn some of my favorite memories are laying on the bed with our mom watching movies. Mom would propose what she called "5 for 5" you scratch her back for 5 minutes and then she does yours. Well.... Devin decided to ask for quarters instead of turns. She quickly learned there were ways to make money around the house if she would just ask. This paying for back rubs led to Devin regularly cleaning out her toy box and closet and holding "yard sales" of the items she no longer played with. If we had family come and stay she would sell off toys to cousins. I remember one time in particular where she sold my collectors edition barbie cards to a friend and my mother had to call the girls parents and ask for the cards back because they weren't Devin's to sell. I laugh about it now, because I see that God put a drive for success and monetary security in my sister that I never had. Its a good thing though because my sisters taste in labels is equal to her appetite for money. You can't have one without the other, its like me and my thighs.... they have a serious appetite for chocolate, and I have the chocolate to thank for my thighs! 

   One thing my beautiful sister will never admit to is her love for spandex pants as a child. I wish I had photographic proof, I may have to call up my mom and beg for one. Us Etzold kiddos were all homeschooled for a large majority of our lives. The beauty of homeschooling with a Father who is self employed is you get to travel in a suburban with a pop-up trailer for weeks on end. Talk about tangible learning environments, we learned about the Declaration of Independence by seeing Washington DC, and we learned how sulfur reacts with hot water and minerals by visiting Yellowstone National Park. Well, on many of these fabulous trips my sisters favorite thing to wear were these black and neon green striped spandex leggings. We used to call her Wild Woman, because with that same stubborn determined nature she would insist on dressing herself, and her colorful concoctions rivaled Rainbow Bright. Now, today my sisters passion for fashion has developed into a much more exquisite and refined taste. She competed and made the finals in Miss El Paso two years ago, and she was voted one of Baylors prettiest ladies by her fellow students last year. 

Now, as she faces her 20's. She is looking forward into her future post graduation and trying to decipher God's plan for her life..... I from an arms reach away have a few tips of advice: 

* Never settle for less ( in relationships, jobs, etc, you are a precious gift to the world! Remember it!) 

*The finest clothing you can find is strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25

*The Lord will carry you much further than any vehicle. 

* Time heals all wounds, but scars will remain

*Guard your heart, strings attach easier than you think 

* Take time to enjoy the small blessings, everyday God is shouting His love for you. Be-it the bird you woke up to singing outside your window. The green lights you happen to get the entire way to school when you were running late. The pair of shoes you have been wanting that magically went on sale.God is constantly looking for ways to remind you He is watching you and He knows the desires of your heart. 

* (with that being said...) Don't ask God for things unless you are sure that is what you want. I believe fully now, it is much better to pray "God please align my heart with Your will, and help me to want what You desire." Too many times I prayed for something specific and I got it, but later realized it was not what I wanted or needed! 

* Your words have power! Edify yourself :-) 

* Always remember I love you (STTE) 

Happy Birthday Devin! Cheers (since you can legally do that now) to 21 beautiful magical years with more memories than I have time to type. May God bless you with many many more birthdays. I can't wait to grow old with you!  (There is my sappy romantic side again) 

Serving God & My Family By Taking Out The Trash....

I am a firm believer that there are certain jobs around that house that are "boy" jobs and other things that are "girl" jobs. I may be old fashioned in this belief, but what else do you expect from a Southern Texas Tart? One boy job in particular that I frequently find myself helping Joe accomplish is taking out the garbage and recycling. I know he has crazy hours during the week sometimes. I know he works so I can stay home with Roo, but some how I have really struggled with my attitude when I ask him to take out the garbage and recycling, and he forgets, or procrastinates. Then both become overflowing mountains in the kitchen so I end up doing it. Recently ( this past week) I have committed myself to finding a joyful way of looking at things. There are several verses in the bible that instruct us to serve God by serving others. So, my new attitude adjustment is, I am serving my Lord, and my Family by taking out the trash. (This attitude adjustment is also applicable to picking up after husbands and putting down the toilet seat because they didn't) I am hoping I am not the only wife out there who struggles with this, so I have compiled a few verses that I have used to help me turn frustration into joy.


"Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man" Ephesians 6:7


"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:3-4 


"But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” 
2Chronicles 15:7 


"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8


"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 

Now, metaphorically.... there will always be times in life when we need to clean out the clutter, take out the garbage, and re-align our lives with God's will. I guess in this case my re-alignment came figuratively and literally! 

Be Blessed, 

Bailey 

It's not about being "Green" it's about staying alive!

Many of you have written me recently in response to my short excerpt about how Joe and I have made the move to organic produce and most importantly grassfed meats. There were several discussions between the two of us, lots of research, and two videos that led to this new life choice. If you have not seen Robyn's video  http://www.robynobrien.com/ please go watch it. Its only 15 minutes long and it really will change your life. This is not a "People shouldn't be mean to animals" kind of video, its a cold hard facts about how we as a culture have let scientists and genetically modified crap ruin our food supply. If that video sparks a fire in your heart, then I encourage you to set aside some time after work, or after kiddos are in bed and watch Food Inc; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVFKEWL6DVU free of charge on youtube!!!


So the major question I keep getting asked is..... "How do you budget it?" to make this really easy I thought I would write one long blog about how we have justified this new life direction. Is it more expensive? Yes, however, in my mind this cost is an investment in our life. It is an investment against cancer, against obesity, against putting pesticides into my daughters digestive system, and against e-coli poisoning.  This cost though when you break it down to dollars and cents is about 1.00 a week more on eggs. 2.00 more a week on yogurt. and about 1.50 more per pound on ground beef.

"Me and My Chiquita Banana ready to go Organic Shopping"  

Now, everyone knows I am a deal finder and I love a good bargain. As a military wife I know that "dough" has to be stretched till pay day! So here is my tips and secrets to living organically. Do all fruits and veggies need to be organic? No, the major items you need to stay away from are Corn, Soybeans, Lettuce, Spinach, and Beets. I prefer organic tomatoes because I don't like the idea of regular tomatoes being ripened with ethanol gas, instead of on God's time table. I buy Veggie Wash for all my fruits and veggies but the non-organic ones especially because the pesticide they are sprayed with is water resistant (makes sense right? Otherwise it would wash off everytime the farmers water) so washing them off in the sink alone doesn't really clean them. A great way to make organic produce fit into your budget is only buy the fruits and veggies on sale that week. Sun Harvest (Now Sprouts) has a webpage http://www.sun-harvest.com/ you can look up whats on sale each week before you go. I print it out and circle the items I want and use that as my grocery list. If you shop on Wednesdays, this weeks, and last weeks deals are in effect. They call it Double Deal Wednesdays. Wednesdays are also the day that they do lots of their tastings and give out free samples. This week for example; blueberries are 88 cents a bushel, strawberries are 2 bushels for 3.00, tomatoes are 2 pounds for 1.00, and peaches are 47 cents a pound. I got 3 heads of organic romaine lettuce for 1.99. If you don't have a Spouts or a Sun Harvest near you google Whole Foods, or Trader Joes for similar selections of organic foods. 

Now, lets get to the meat of it. Although there is some wiggle room in the fruit and veggie selection.... meat is one thing we have decided has to be grassfed, non-genetically altered, hormone and antibiotic free. If your budget allows the cheapest way to accomplish this change in your meat supply is to buy a half or a quarter of an animal at a time! This requires quite a bit of freezer space so a chest freezer is not a bad idea. http://www.eatwild.com/products/index.html at this site you can search for grassfed farm animal distributors near you. I found some great deals in Arizona, and New Mexico. Most places ship free if you buy 75.00 or more. Sun Harvests weekly prices on meat vary, but today I got 2 spinach and feta stuffed pork chops for 4.50, and I got one pound of hand rolled pork maple sausage, and one pound of hand rolled chicken cheddar jalapeño sausage for 2.49 a piece. The organic meat is going to be more expensive hands down. Corn is subsidized by the government and sold at half the cost it actually takes to grow it.... so its cheaper to feed your animals corn than it is to provide grazing grasses. Organic farmers have to pay fee's to be "certified" organic, fee's to market and label items as organic, and they do not get the tax breaks or government funded marketing programs their subsidized non-organic competitors get. So its an extra cost we literally have to eat. One way we combat the extra cost, is smaller meat portions. Joe and I do not need a 10oz steak.... a 4-5oz one for each of us coupled with large portions of spinach salad or sautéed snap peas and carrots will fill us up just fine and its better for our waistlines. :-)


My last and final tip is become familiar with the organic food labels. Annies makes pasta's, mac n cheese, and snack crackers. Stonyfield makes organic yogurt and dairy products. Horizon makes super tasty organic milk.Brown Cow also makes delicious organic yogurt, and greek yogurt if you prefer that. Blue Sky makes natural soda's.  Most of those items I have found at Walmart, Albertsons or Target. 


As you try to balance your budget and your conscience with all this new information, I hope my tips help! I want you to feel enlightened, and I hope I  answered some of your looming questions, and helped you gain resources to educate yourself on the things we are feeding ourselves and our families. "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself" - 1 Corinthians 6:19. If we are indeed temples of the living God, then just like in every other part of my life I want to give God my best! This includes filling it with food that is good for us as a family and a body of Christ. Happy food hunting!